Conversations From The Brink Of Insanity

Please bear in mind that these conversations happen DAILY, sometimes hourly!

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Kenton:

"Mom, can I play the computer?" (Asked after playing for hours already)

Me:

"No, Kenton. You may not."

Kenton:

"Why not?"

Me:

"Because I said so!" (We've already discussed the reason at least three times.)

Kenton:

"But, I just want to know WHY!"

Me:

"BECAUSE I'M THE MOM! THAT'S WHY!"

Kenton:

"Why?"

And so the conversation continues...

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Kaitlyn:

At the absolute top of her lungs in the grocery store, "SILENT NIGHT, HOLY NIGHT! SILENT NIGHT, HOLY NIGHT! SILENT NIGHT, HOLY NIGHT..."

Me:

"Sh-h-h-h-h!!!!!"

Kaitlyn:

"Why?" Oh wait, "WHY???"

Me:

"Because everyone is STARING at us!" (Asian children are seriously the quietest kids around! My children sound like fog horns in comparison with a normal tone of voice!)

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Me:

"Finish your supper."

Twins: (Take your pick as to which one!)

"But I'm not hun-ngry!"

Me:

"Fine, than don't ask me for a bedtime snack."

Anyone want to take a wild stab at what happens next?

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Me:

"Ethan! Get off the table! Ethan! Get those rocks out of your mouth! Ethan, STOP SCREAMING! Ethan, no no! Ethan, the lamp plug is ouchies! Oh, Ethan! You spilled the orange juice AGAIN? Who left the OJ where Ethan could reach it?!?!?"

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Kenton:

"Mom! Ethan just put ____________ (fill in the blank) in the toilet!"

Me:

"WHO LEFT THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN, AGAIN??"

Twins: (Once again take your pick...)

"Not me!"

Well, it certainly wasn't ME and I know it wasn't Ethan so.....

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Kenton:

"Mom, I can't sleep."

Me:

"Try counting sheep."

Kenton:

"I already tried that and it didn't work."

Me:

"Try doing math problems." (No kidding, he does this!)

Kenton:

"I tried that too and it didn't work! My brain just won't shut off!"

Me:

"Try saying a prayer that God will shut your brain off long enough that you fall asleep."

Kenton: (after disappearing for a few minutes)

"He isn't answering my prayer!"

Me:

"Try shutting your light off and actually closing your eyes."

Well, what do you know? Mom does know something after all!